April 1, 2013
Dear Budding Blissologist,
 According to the April 1st WORLD BLISS REPORT, some astonishing achievements have been accomplished since the opening of Blissology University (B.U.) in 2013.
MBA, “Masters of Bliss Administration” graduates are already infiltrating world business. The United Nations reports that, “MBA graduates from Blissology University are uplifting the ambiance of international trade, thereby swiftly turning dying war economies into the now-blossoming Eco-Peace, Health & Harmony Economies.”
In Switzerland earlier today, the United Nations declared a world peace plan. United States rejects the plan and vows to retaliate if peace is enforced. Blissology University MBAs have been flown in for inspirational mediation.
In Italy, by Papal Decree the new Pope blesses Blissology University as Bliss U bestows an honorary Certificate of Bliss upon Pope Francis, blissing him to “Activate The Miraculous” and “Bliss Forth With Love.”
Meanwhile, the Dalai Lama becomes Tibet’s first Blissologist. The King of Bhutan meets with the Dalai Lama, acknowledging Bliss U’s successful efforts at raising the International Happiness Index, as indicated by a significant worldwide increase in the trade of smiles, songs, hugs, terms of endearment and genuine affection.
Bliss stock skyrockets as first female Blissologist lands on the moon. The astronaut reports that feeling “ecstatically enlightened.”
Meanwhile, the President of the AMA cites that “One million AMA physicians have missed the bliss boat.” Blissology University intervenes, with a plethora of the university’s MBAs descending upon the AMA, agreeing to act as consultants to ameliorate the dire situation.
The President of the AMA is now a CBB, Certified Budding Blissologist. His new joyful presence has convinced the majority of AMA members to include Blissology University’s “Bliss Conscious Communication Certificate Course”,”Ecstasy of Ethics 101″, “Meditation Celebration” and “Succulent Strategies to Supernatural Health” as as required medical school course curriculum.
As a part of a negotiated deal with Blissology University, the AMA reluctantly agreed to abandon all modern blood-letting procedures – from needless surgeries to unnecessary tests, as well as unfounded, perilous pharmaceutical prescriptions.
Members of the Medical-Industrial Complex voiced concerns, including the President of the AMA, who stated that “Re-implementing the Hippocratic Oath, “Do no harm” will require a major paradigm shift toward preventative medicine, especially among some surgeons.” He added, “We are committed to making the shift for the sake of the people’s wellness”, citing the following new research study from Blissology University:
According to this research led by an MBA (Master of Bliss Administration) team at Blissology University, “Wellness spontaneously arises most frequently in an ambiance of genuinely-caring health care, natural beauty, affection, organic cleanses, and funlovingkindness.” MBA Blissologists say they are “feeling optimistic” because “it can only improve from here”. The President of the AMA concurs in an official statement, declaring that, “Bliss is the medicine of the future.”
An estimated 60 million depressed Americans rise up to overcome depression in a moment of clarity, vowing to replace anti-depressants, tvs and junk foods with organic leafy green juices, fresh organic vegetables, sprouts and fruits as well as exercise, uplifting affirmations, sunshine, singing, dancing, personal insight, resolve, sagacious self-love, compliments, encouragement, and daily service that requires consideration of others.
Consequently, to meet a sudden unprecedented demand for organics caused by Americans giving up junk food, millions of middle class Americans are converting their lawns into organic gardens and orchards, and kitchens into micro-greens mini-farms
A nationwide survey reveals that many Americans value peace, joy and happiness, and estimates that more than 1 million Americans will become certified Blissologists in 2013, thereby contributing to the rapidly emerging Ecstatic Economy. Thereby, bliss will re-emerge as the leading currency as it was in ancient times.
Monsanto declares moral bankruptcy. Monsanto officials beg for bliss. Blissology University responds that, “Bliss can only be achieved by ethical means, starting with eco-peace, harmony and respectful sovereignty for all earthlings.”
In the middle of negotiations, Monsanto concedes that the FDA is itself a GMO, a Genetically Modified Organization.
Angels intercede. Remaining Monsanto management miraculously sees the light that sustainable happiness can only be achieved with ethical foundations. Monsanto agrees to immediately abort all insanity and to work full time to make reparations. Fairies, elves, and aliens agree to assist.
Let Us Bliss Forth With FunLovingKindness!
Happy Oasis, CBB
Certified Budding Blissologist
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